I had a shock the other day.
In an unguarded moment, I ran across one of those life expectancy calculators. You know, the kind that will tell you how many years you have left on earth after 10 minutes of softball questions.
Basically, I believe that predicting how long you’ll live is a fool’s errand—any of us could get hit by alien laser rays or a school bus tomorrow. But my data-driven heart was sucked in by this calculator, which was developed by professors at the University of Pennsylvania Wharton School and based on 400,000 data samples collected by the National Institutes of Health and the AARP.
Now, I know that I fall in a healthy category for weight, activity level and absence of chronic disease. But, still, the results shocked me.
Ninety-six. My estimated life expectancy is 96.
This is enough time to live a second adult life. This is enough time to start another career or follow a dream or pursue a passion. This is not enough time to waste.
So, that’s the challenge I put before you (and myself) this January: the macro view; the life-reinvention perspective. Because no matter how much time we have (or think we have), why squander it in self-defeating, fearful ways? Or simply by drifting through a handful of years without direction?
Reinvention isn’t a quick-fix project; it isn’t a lose-five-pounds resolution. It’s a project we could (and should) work on for the rest of our lives, periodically reviewing and adjusting our goals to see if they still fit.
Now—today—is a good time to start. So, I put before you the proprietary MiddlesexMD Reinvention Project. Ready?
Step #1. Take stock. No shortcuts here. Sit yourself down somewhere quiet. Open to the first page of the Reinvention journal that you bought for this occasion. (You did get one, didn’t you?) Today’s task is to examine the important aspects of your life—as realistically and objectively as possible. You can’t envision a new you without a solid understanding of who you are now, right?
How’s your health? (Obviously my first question.) Are you content with how you feel? How do you feel about your eating/exercising habits? Your weight? Your overall mobility? Your blood pressure and cholesterol levels? Your mental acuity? Do not indulge in guilt or leap to quick, feel-good resolutions, just assess your physical self realistically.
How’s your spirit? Do you feel lonely? Optimistic? Afraid? Contented? Discontented? Restless? Do a full-spirit wellness scan. Are the physical and spiritual linked in some way—being overweight and depressed, for example? Are you handicapped by free-floating fears or anxieties? Does stress nibble at the corners of your life—or maybe devour the whole enchilada? Do you feel unsettled and discontented or grateful and happy?
What is the source of your greatest joy or satisfaction? What are you good at? What are you happiest doing? Where does your passion—or your pleasure or your interest—lie? What have you always wanted to attempt? Do you have dreams that you decided had passed you by or that you are too afraid to try? Is there anything you would regret not having done before you die?
Examine the health of your most important relationships. Our closest relationships are the sources of our greatest joy and satisfaction as well as our greatest heartbreak and frustration. We expend a lot of energy repressing, denying or making excuses for broken relationships, whether with family, lovers or friends. Does this sound true for you?
Are you keeping up with friends and loved ones or have you let important relationship wither on the vine? We also sometimes endure relationships that kill our spirits, that are toxic to our psyche and sometimes our bodies. Resolve now to examine them with a clear eye. You don’t have to do anything today except be honest with yourself.
Write it all down in the journal. This is the first day of your new you.
OK. Take a deep breath. You’re done for today.
Need inspiration? Some of our "The Fullness of Midlife" podcasts are on topic: Lesley Jane Seymour on reinvention, Amy Eller on intentional life design, Druscilla French on understanding ourselves.
Barb DePree, MD, has been a gynecologist for 30 years, specializing in menopause care for the past 10. Dr. DePree was named the Certified Menopause Practitioner of the Year in 2013 by the North American Menopause Society. The award particularly recognized the outreach, communication and education she does through MiddlesexMD, a website she founded and where this blog first appeared. She also is director of the Women’s Midlife Services at Holland Hospital, Holland, Michigan.
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